Mr… Stevil?
That’sss me.
…Yes, hi. I am Bruno…from the architecture firm, “Glass Ceilings and Such”. I heard you had some issues with my colleague, Martin?
That isss correct. He refusssed to follow my ordersss.
…Oh, well, I am sorry to hear that. Customer Satisfaction is our number 1 motto. Let’s fix things, and we can all go home happy today?
We will ssssee about that.
Well, let’s begin then… Hmm, Martin’s handwriting is atrocious! My notes say you want an evil lair designed. Hah. Can you imagine?
Yesss. I cannot ssstop imagining it.
… Oh…Oh, so that was not his handwriting then. Okay, I guess we can help. Do you have a location in mind?
Yesss. Under an active volcano, about to erupt sssoon.
Haha. You are a funny man, Mr. Stevil. Has anyone told you that?
Nnoo. You are the firssst. And probably the lassst.
Ah, I get it. You are a villain. Well, we have a villain package for you. It’s quite popular among your peers. Well, the city of Citypolis does not have any active volcanoes, so I guess you meant outside city limits?
Nnoo, I need you to dessssign the volcano asss well.
… Hmm, will need a work permit for that, but with the metro construction, the city-planner might not approve any major landscape changes. Okay, let’s shelve that for a moment. Martin’s notes say you want an entrance corridor with “wall torches” and “traps”. I guess that’s his racist way of saying European Architecture? So I have the perfect Italian tiles for y–
–Nnoo, the floor mussst be booby trapped with no lightsss.
Ah, like a deterrent for Steve? Yes, makes more sense. I don’t think that would be up to code, but I’ll have to check the books. Maybe we can call it an “escape room” and justify that, but then the entire project will have to be contracted as commercial construction.
If I may give some advice here though, I would say avoid the corridor traps. Steve usually bypasses them on the first attempt, and then knows what he is looking for the next time around.
Your inputsss will be consssidered.
Let’s see, what else we have here. Hmm, the usual stuff. swivelling doors, crocodile pond from the board room chairs, a launchpad for missiles, prison chamber for kidnappees. I guess that is all package F from the catalogue, minus the piranhas plus the crocs.
Hmm, we can skip this section. All seems very straightforward.
Perfect…. sss.
Okay, that one did not even have an “s” in it. Do you have a speech impediment or not?
I threw in a gratuitousss esss to emphasssizzze my evilnessss
Gotcha. About the colour theme, do you want to go with the old-fashioned “evil dark”? Or the “classy white”?
…
You are trying to find a way to say “evil dark” while incorporating an “s” in the sentence?
…Possssibly
Don’t worry about it. Evil Dark it is. I guess we can get started with this.
If you don’t mind me asking Mr Stevil, I have not heard of you before. Have you taken the city hostage recently?
Nnnoo. I ssshall build my lair firssst and then announccce my arrival
Ah. Going all in I see? Well, looking forward to seeing your work. And welcome to the city. See you around?
Ssseee you sssoon.
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