Holy fuck! Why would you tell me that?
Well, you said last week I could tell you anything!
I meant more what your deep dark fears are! How does telling me “Peacocks often eat their own puke to not seem inappropriate” help you. Or me!
I don’t know man, I am sensing a lot of judgement for someone who promised zero judgement for my words.
…You know what? You’re right. I’m sorry. That is an interesting fact. Where did you learn it.
Oh, I just made it up. Seems true. No way to disprove it.
…
…
Okay, first off, there is definitely a way to disprove it. You tell your stupid fact to a peacock and watch it puke all over your horrid shoes at how disgusting that fact is.
Secondly, why are you making up random defamatory factoids about peacocks?
Eh, I dunno. I wanted to share something with you. To test the “You can tell me anything, no judgement” thingy! I wanted to share something personal, but wanted to make sure you were not lying to me.
I guess that’s fair. I totally did not judge you. So, what was it that you wanted to share?
Nah, I’ve seen how you react to my candor. I think I’m good.
Aw man, C’mon don’t be hurt! Okay, tell you what. I’ll share something of mine, so you feel more comfortable.
…Alright then.
So, I occasionally think this environment saving thing is all bullshit, and we are all doomed anyway, might as well burn the planet down and take it with us.
HOLY SHIT!
Yeah, that felt good to get off my chest.
Yeah, that must have been embarrassing!
It was. So, what was it you wanted to tell me?
Oh yeah, I guess fair is fair. You deserve to know my truth.
I bought a peacock yesterday, and it instantly puked on my front lawn!
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