“Humaari filmon ki tarah, humaari zindagi mein bhi, end tak sab kuchh theek ho jaata hai…Happies Endings…Aur agar theek na ho, to wo The End nahi. Picture abhi baaki hai, mere dost…Picture abhi baaki hai!”
– Om Shanti Om“Like our movies, even in our lives, everything gets resolved by the end…Happies Endings… And if it’s not resolved, then that’s not The End. There is more movie to come, my friend…there is more movie to come!”
– Mystical-syllable Peace Mystical-syllable
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Welcome to Paradise. This is your morning bulletin.
- There are reports of floods in Argentina. Dan is requested to stop crying, and suck it up. It’s been 3 millennia, she has moved on. You should too man!
- Champak found the loch ness monster in his bathtub again, and exclaimed: “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!”. Damnit denied these allegations as just baseless rumours but did give out a sly smile when asked if God indeed worked in mysterious ways. God was unavailable for comment.
- The highway to hell is now open for commute, although sunscreen is highly recommended.
- God’s PR team has declared that the leaked documents titled: “Additional 3 billion ways to fuck with humanity” was just the working title of a movie God is writing, and are not actual plans. This is the 36,103,227th such leak, questioning God’s benevolence. The devil is yet again using this as a campaign point, requesting for a democratic election, going so far as to calling God a tyrannical dictator.
“Contain The Bearded Hitler!” will be Devil’s election slogan. - The Candy Floss Mountain Clouds are now available in 3 different colo —
— We interrupt this bulletin to let you know that everything is peachy, and God is awesome, and we retract the news about the screenplay by God, with full apologies. Also, the devil is a sucks, and we took a poll, and both people said they do not want an election. Both were not under duress. heaven is legit awesome, and dead media (AKA dedia) is completely free of influence. Also, Damnit has been promoted to People Rep of the News Organization.
That will be all. Good morning, and Good News
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