Let me get this straight. You are an all-powerful genie, but when I asked you to give me 10 billion dollars, you gave me 10 billion Zimbabwean dollars, which are basically worthless.
THAT IS CORRECT
First off, what the fuck. We are in the United States. So US Dollar was implied. Any currency on earth is measured against the US dollar. So the US dollar was implied. There should have been no ambiguity, and if there was, you should have asked!
I UPHOLD THE WORD OF THE WISH, NOT THE SPIRIT
That is my follow-up question. Why? Why the fuck do you care if I get rich or poor. You do not get anything from this deal one way or another! I’ve heard about wish-granting devices like you. Monkey’s paws, and that devil from Rick and Morty, and Jafar in Aladdin 2, and whatnots! The wish-granter is all-powerful, but likes to fuck with people? Would it have been better if my first wish had been you NOT be a sadistic fuck?
LISTEN, MAN, I JUST WORK HERE. IF YOU GOT AN ISSUE, TAKE IT UP WITH THE BIG GUY
WHAT BIG GUY! You are a genie I found in a lamp! Are there corporate headquarters I can go to for customer support? Because I would love to talk to your manager.
YOUR WISH IS GRANTED. I AM MY OWN BOSS. YOU ARE NOW SPEAKING TO MY MANAGER, WHO IS ALSO ME.
See, you did it again. You got me to waste a wish. How are you adding any value to anyone’s life? You’re a piece of shit, and I hope you know that. I think I understand why wish-granting genies are so hard to come by. Humans find you, deal with your bullshit and decide to spare other humans the roller-coaster of getting our hopes up with wishes, and then having you be a jackass to us. I’ll hide you in a place next-to-impossible to find. In fact, you know what? My third wish is you are not found by another human for 3000 years! Let’s see you find loopholes in that.
THANKS, MATE. SORRY I WAS A DICK TO YOU EARLIER. I JUST REALLY WANTED YOUR THIRD WISH TO BE ME NOT BEING FOUND. I’M A BIT OF AN INTROVERT, AND REALLY DO NOT LIKE MEETING NEW PEOPLE. I’M ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE GUY IF YOU GET TO KNOW ME. TELL YOU WHAT, NEXT TIME WE MEET, I’LL GIVE YOU A GENUINELY GOOD WISH SO WE ARE EVEN. OKAY? SEE YOU IN 3000 YEARS! BYEEEE
Yeah, whatever. Eat Shit.
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