Zzz

Hmmm. I need to stop with these late-night comic reading. I have to be up in 6 hours, and this is not healthy. Slept only 5 hours last night! I’m not as young as I used to be! Okay, tomorrow I fix this. I’ll sleep at 9… z …

No wait, tomorrow is Friday. I might want to go dayncing. But then I need not worry about staying up late tomorrow night, so I can have 3–4 coffees tomorrow, and that will keep me up. Yes, I’m good. 3–4 coffees it is… zzz…

Such an adult thing to do! Have coffee to stay up. I could stay up 45 hours without any coffee back in my teens! Huh, how the times have changed!
One can only imagine how much more the times will change. Two can discuss it.
Heh, that was funny. I should write it down before I forget it… No wait, if I see my phone, I’ll not sleep again for an hour. I’ll just write it tomorrow… zzzzzz…

What if I forget tomorrow though! It’s such an amazing joke! I’ll just look at my screen for a minute and be done!

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Okay, responded to all notifications. Now back to sleep. Oh wait, forgot to write the joke. What was it? Oh yes. “One can only imagine how much more the times will change. Two can discuss it.”. Should I reframe it? Maybe add a “three can…” Nevermind will do it tomorrow. What time is it? Shit! 5:15 hours to wake up! Ugh growing up sucks! Let me try sleeping again…zzzzzzzzz…

Yeah, but at least as a grown-up you don’t tie your shoelaces with each other for fun and then cannot untie them and have to paddle walk back home!

*Cringe*

For fuck’s sake brain! Can we not do this tonight? I need to sleep! Don’t cringe me out tonight man?

I care for you okay? This reminder is so you don’t do anything to hurt yourself. Like remember how you loved this girl, and then acted all insecure and pushed her away? Imagine if I was around to stop that with all the warnings!

God fucking damn it! I need sleep, and I am not indulging you. I did not push her away, it was a lot of things. Circumstances dictated that.

Suuure.

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Okay fine, what. What could I have done differently to have changed the outcome?

Oh boy, am I glad you asked that! Here’s a list of all the things you need to change about yourself to have any happiness in life ever.
№1: Be better. Just overall. You suck too much. This is excellent advice!
№2: Don’t do the things you do usually. What yo…
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№63: You should get more sleep. You tend to overthink things a lot and don’t get your rest. It makes your brain slower. Have you noticed how dumb you’ve become?…
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№172: Brown shoes would look better than black shoes. But not the brown shoes you have. Really expensive brown shoes. And it’s okay if you can’t afford them. Coz as per №129, you don’t earn enough, so you can’t be happy anyway.
BTW, it’s 2 hours to when you need to wake up. Do you want to try sleeping?

Na, fuck it. I’ll just get some work done now that my entire existence is meaningless, and as per №37 I’m not growing fast enough at work.

Oh, in that case, I am super tired. I’ll go sleep. You carry on without me if you like.

Sure. Thanks man. See you in a couple of weeks?

Or when you least expect it! Byeee