Let the adventures begin

Hi, it’s me. Gurbaksh. You probably know me by one of my many other names. Guru. GSK. GB(yuck). On this very special blog post, I would like to take a moment to share what is going on recently, how we are handling it here at the blog, and the way forward.

As many of you might have read in my last 30 posts or something, I have abused Medium’s lack of checks for professional content. I have improvised my way through random blog posts. This improv writing (or improvriting. I coined it. It has the same number of syllables, and is more complicated to read. See what I did there? That’s explaineedlessly) has yielded excellent results, with me having 5 followers. That’s 5 more than I did before I had a medium account, and 504 less than my Instagram followers.

(Fun fact, before I started improvriting, my CEO used to follow me on medium. I believe at some point he opted out of reading about incorrect idiom usage when trying to read how to change the world)

Today, I decided to revisit some of my older posts. I noticed that much like my live-action improv tendencies, a lot of posts revolved around the superhero/fantasy themed (examples 0, 1, 2…I liked 0 more, but too lazy to move the URLs on 1 and 2), and so an idea was born. An idea so awesome, that if I fully understood it myself, my brain would explode!

Every time I do not have ideas for a post, we shall explore stories from the life of superhero Steve. Not every post will be about him, but considering it’s for when I won’t have other ideas, almost every post will be about him.

I’m sure you have many questions about Steve, and below I will try to answer them briefly:

1. Why Steve and not “Panda-man” or “Giraffe-man”?
   – I don’t yet know what Steve’s superpowers would be.
2. Why Steve and not “Rohit” or “Kamlesh”?
   – My Indian fans have grown up on western movies and TV shows. As have I. It’s my brain’s go-to now. Also, when this becomes a TV series, I’m taking it Netflix US and not Star Plus.
3. Why Steve and not “Lisa” or “Sophia”?
   – I believe myself to lack the abilities to write a good female character, and expect to be constantly judged for how I portray her. I also lack the abilities to write a good male character, but if I mess that up, I’m a bad writer and not sexist.
   I will try to have almost all adventures as gender-neutral so that Netflix buys it, Steve can become Sarah and be portrayed by Alice Levine (or Rose Matafeo. I’m yet to decide.)
   I do expect Steve’s supervillains will be more evenly split by gender. Call me out if you find me straying from this promise. Women can destroy the world too, people. Women can destroy the world too.
4. Did you come up with the name Steve at random, and are now justifying the choice of this arbitrary name?
   – Yes, very much so.
5. What are the odds that these adventures never kick-off, because you get bored of the idea, and this post (and our time invested reading it) becomes wasted?
   – I would say around 1:1
6. Will these adventures be original?
   – Oh, fuck no. Much like almost all my posts, the central theme, character motivations, most of the jokes and entire paragraphs will be plagiarized completely.
   If it helps, most of the plagiarism for Steve will happen from comic-books(Mainly DC), Manga(OPM/DBZ), Cartoons(Phineas and Ferb) and off-brand TV shows (Community, Final Space), so for you, it might be fresh content!
7. When can we expect the first adventure?
   – I like how you think of me as a man in control of his life and decisions. I really appreciate that about you.

Okay, bored now. Bye.

For people reading for the first time, I sometimes do better than this:
Examples: 1,2,3,4,5
But usually, it’s way worse. Won’t add examples, because that sounds like bad marketing.

Thanks and bye again.